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What critics (in the academy) should be saying

"We can't comment until this has been peer-reviewed."
Science faculty members
“A weed is an unwanted plant. We believe in plant amnesty. Every plant should be a wanted plant. All power to the weeds!”
Member, Campus Plant Liberation Front
“There’s nothing funny about higher education. But what is funny is that, after teaching here 30 years, I can’t get a parking place near the building. Thank you for helping me understand why."
Humanities faculty member
“We’re sending your book to a focus group of donors and will get back to you with our opinion of it.”
Campus development office (fundraiser)
“We had hoped you (the author) would find honest employment after many years in public relations. We were wrong.”
Author's former supervisor